I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
