I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
