I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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