Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize