I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
