Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
