I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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