My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
