I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
