i dont even know how to be here
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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