he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
