I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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