we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize