I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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