why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
