someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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