i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
