I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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