so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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