I just pynch a tree in the face
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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