I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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