i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
