Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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