Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
