Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
