i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
