its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
