if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
