You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
