The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
As shirtless as possible
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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