a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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