i wish my penis had a tongue
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
