You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
