yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
