I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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