the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
