Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize