we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize