I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
