OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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