He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
