I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
