Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
