My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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