So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
