physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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