Buhtt sex?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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