I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
