After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
zippers are such a cool invention
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Pooping to opera.
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