this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Be still, my beating vagina.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
