The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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