I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
