Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
