RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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