If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
