90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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