so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
