You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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