this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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