I just saw a hot homeless man
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
