When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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