peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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