i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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