i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
