I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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