please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
