Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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