i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
