Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize