Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
