I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize