You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
